The Field

The Field

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Finishing things

A fitting title I suppose for whats happened the past few days.  Starting with today though, tonight was my last scheduled day in the Deli at work.  It was also a terribly annoying and frustrating day from hell but I managed to make my way through it none the less.  

My first draft is almost, kinda, sorta finished.  Just another few days and it should be done.  I've decided on a new plot development to move it along into the next book and give the girls a task to focus on.  It should be interesting for sure and will help me start up the second book when the time comes.  I have some ideas for the second and third book but nothing concrete yet.  There isn't enough to make an actual good story out of it just fun ideas that I can't wait to play around with.  Finishing the first book will be exciting and I can't wait to hold an actual copy of it in my hands.  

I also finished a game today.  I have a hard time playing different games other then World of Warcraft right now and I'm not sure so I see this as quite an achievement.  The story was just compelling enough to keep me playing it.  It's called Master Reboot for anyone that wants to check it out and you can find it on Steam or possibly other platforms.  I had originally bought the game about a year ago and just recently decided to pick it up again.  The graphics had turned me off from it but once I realized that it's part of the aesthetic and once I figured out what the story was about, it was much easier for me to play.  I actually didn't think I would finish it because I got to the last level last night and had to stop so I could go to sleep.  Usually when I stop at a last level I don't bother to finish it but this time I decided that I just had to.  I had to see the conclusion to the story and get some closure.  I'm really glad I did.

I'm not sure how long it's been going on but if I had to guess it's been about eight years that I've had this problem.  This problem of not only being unable to finish things but to even start things.  I will buy games on Steam and then either start them and play for a few hours or never touch them at all.  These games are ones that I am legitimately interested in too and for some reason I can't even pick them up and play them.  It's not just games though but projects I want to start on such as my book.  It has taken me years to even get to the point where I am now in writing my book which I blame mostly on how many revisions in the story I had to do before I was satisfied with it.

The big things I've wanted to do though involve making another game.  I haven't made one since college and for some reason I haven't been able to find the drive and discipline to actually sit down and work on it.  Instead of actually trying to work on something, anything at this point, I end up bringing myself down by thinking things like, no one will play this, it won't be as good as other things I see out there.  Really I should just make something and deal with it later.  I shouldn't take what people say about it so critically and just use that information to help improve on the next project.

Of course all of this could have to do with depression and being sad about certain aspects of my life.  I'm sure it has a big part to do with the motivation part in the least.

That's it for now.  Thanks again everyone for reading and I hope to see you again in the future.

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